The BMW M5 E39 is often lauded as one of the greatest all-rounders ever produced. On one hand a perfectly comfortable four-door saloon, cheerfully at home on the daily commute and pottering around like any other family car, on the other a snarling, oft-sideways hooligan. So why would anyone choose the oft-criticised Maserati Quattroporte IV?
Well, it's good to be different – but does it stack up? Let's have a look.
The looks
The BMW M5 just exudes aggression. It may still be a four-door saloon, and able to live in office car parks without scaring people, but you know it's a highly capable machine just by looking at it. But it's also devoid of anything that might overstate its purpose – this is no blinged-up hotrod; something not all four-door supercars can quite carry off.
The Maserati Quattroporte IV, by contrast, is a little more divisive. From some angles its subtly handsome, if not as outrageous. From others – particularly the rear – described diplomatically, it's 'challenging'. However, that rakish Gandini slash over the rear wheels does add some intrigue to the design.
Overall, however, it turns out that against every (tedious) national stereotype, it's the German that is the more flamboyant than the Italian. But which one works best for you?
The interior
If the Maserati's exterior could be described as subtle, the interior certainly isn't. In fact my eyes are still trying to refocus. It's delightfully comfortable in there, however, and it's hard not to be excited by your surroundings after a while. Mainly due to the abject silliness – after all, racy red (we've had to tone down our first few descriptive terms as this is a family website) and old-school pale wood is a peculiar combination. "A colonoscopy on wheels" was one description from an unnamed colleague.
The BMW, meanwhile, is an object lesson in stark minimalism – it's darker than the inside of Darth Vader's man cave and, frankly, just as cheerful. It's rather more sports-orientated than the Maserati – the seats are much firmer and body-hugging, which is what you'd be after should you get a bit lairy.
Thing is, part of my inner child disregards all this Munich modernism and desires the utterly silly Italian boudoir. Only a small part, mind.
The power
This Quattroporte is an Evoluzione model, which was first introduced at the Geneva Motor Show in 1998. By that time Maserati was under the control of Ferrari and the QP was significantly refreshed. Its 3.2-litre twin-turbocharged V8 gave a more-than-healthy 331bhp with 332lb ft of torque, which meant you could hit 60mph just under six seconds and charge all the way to a top speed of 168mph.
That top speed rather urinates over the M5's 155mph but of course, that's not the whole story. Unrestricted it's said to go all the way to 189mph. The 0-60mph dash is history in a smidgen under five seconds. The BMW's 4.9-litre normally aspirated V8 sounds fantastic too – the Maserati lacks a little Italian flair; not for the first time in this test. It also falls short of the BMW's 394bhp – not by too far though.
The handling
The M5 was the darling of the motoring press on launch. On one hand it could trundle benignly from place to place, perfectly composed thanks to its then revolutionary DSC traction control. Turn it off and it becomes an absolute monster; its beautifully balanced handling and communicative steering means that you'll feel directly stitched to the road.
The Maserati is still fun – Ferrari had fettled the Evoluzione into an engaging steer; the steering is talkative and it's very direct. Where it falls down is the ride; it bobs around in corners and struggles to maintain its composure if you try any M5 heroics – after all, by 2000 this was more of a freshened-up old design, and it shows. You can liken it to a Shamal with a middle-aged paunch and a gammy knee; it's still capable of raising a smile but it's a struggle.
Summary
The BMW M5 is a perfectly rational choice. It's faster, handles better, looks nicer and handles better. But there's just something about the Maserati – call it the joy of being different or feeling sorry for it, just looking at that ridiculous interior and remembering the performance gives it a certain appeal.
Why? For all its virtues, imagine how surprised a BMW M5 driver will be when the Quattroporte rocks up behind it in the outside lane of the motorway – and surprised further when it very nearly keeps up with it. That sounds fun to me...